THIS YEAR & NEXT. I won’t spend time listing out all the details of this year, and many of the good things I note in SPACE. I went through my photos since January and was reminded of how much time I spent with people who celebrate what’s in front of them — so many moments that left me feeling full. It’s been a year that has filled me with direction and inspiration, that I’ll choose to carry with me into next year. At the same time, there have been some things — both peculiar and disappointing — that I haven’t made peace with yet. And right now, I’m pretty okay with that — letting myself be in the not knowing of why those things happened as they did or what I am supposed to learn from them yet while still appreciating what this year has given me.
In early January, Kayti Christian, a writer whose words I cling to whenever she shares something, put out a post on how she wanted to feel this year. The whole piece is here on Substack and I’ve come back it nearly every month in 2024. It is a 9 part piece, but here are a few of my favorites lines:
“I want to eat more butter, slathering it on every corner of my toast because it tastes better this way. I want to make choices based on pleasure and presence and the fact that time is fleeting…
I want to hear the birds in the morning and say a prayer of gratitude for the tree that holds its leaves through the winter. I want to feel rested when the sunrise dances on my walls and exhausted when starlight filters through the blinds…
I want to feel optimistic about the world and believe we all have the capacity to be good to each other. I want to feel enraged and moved to action when this is stolen from others, believing instead that our collective joy can outweigh our collective pain…”
Extra butter just because!! Being present!! Nature’s calming touch!! Believing in the goodness of others!! More of this in 2025!!
It’s made me think about how I want to feel next year so I wrote a bit for me.
I want to (continue to) feel warmth — from the fires built in front of me, to the presence of gentle people, to the feeling inside of me that listens to what is real and true. And peace knowing I’m where I’m meant to be and can stand still in that. The warmth of so many chocolate chip cookies that I have a stomach ache from eating them with people I love. And knowing good things continue to await. The warmth of embracing this creative nudge that sits quietly within and not letting doubt hold me back. And knowing I deserve the kind of grace I have the capacity to give myself and others.
Warmth is the tea I drink, the bed I curl up in, the movement that feels natural, the perfectly ripe blueberries that sit on the counter, and the sweatpants I never want to take off. But it’s also the salty dark chocolate and buttery red wine, and the staying up a little too late planning the next trip. It’s the new top because I like how it fits or the lip gloss that adds the extra touch. It’s the warmth of knowing I’m not afraid to crash my heart into the people life gifts me even when I don’t know how it ends — because at least I was brave enough to try. It’s the feeling that I have a lifetime of books ahead of me and good friends to share them with. It’s the candles burning bright across the room and the kind people inside it. It’s knowing all the possibilities and realities I wonder about can one day exist.
A memoir I read this fall by Maggie Smith (definitely recommend), highlights a comment realtors often make when showing a house: “‘This place could be beautiful, right?’ You could make this place beautiful.” The latter sentence is the title of her book — because in reference to our lives, of course we make this place beautiful.
Book Recommendation:
Journey to the Heart by Melody Beattie consists of 365 daily mediations, each a quick and soulful read. My mom gave this to me years ago, I’ve given a handful of copies to friends, and it’s been my go-to to start many mornings with a clearer mind and grateful heart.