BEING. What does it feel like to just be? I never knew what this idea was or that it was even possible to exist in a state of being every so often until I moved to New York. With basketball in college (and even high school for that matter), I never felt I had the time to allow myself to just sit still and acknowledge what is. But I’ve slowly been learning that we can allow ourselves to just be in a moment — accepting what is, without fighting it or trying to change the way things currently are. I think there is absolutely a time for action, change, and movement, but sometimes we can be where we are without thinking about all that’s on our to do list or how we’re going to keep improving or why something isn’t the way we want it to be right now. We can create space for what is. I think figuring out how to be can allow us to cultivate more presence to what’s in front of us — whether that be a person, place, experience or a feeling: a moment of joy, maybe longing, anger or pain. I think it’s okay to take that extra two minutes in the shower or five minutes laying on the floor to pause. Maybe you’ve felt (or craved) this before, but didn’t quite know how to describe it or maybe this idea of being is new, but either way, I think it’s worth paying attention too, if and when it arises.
We are productive most days, and even when we aren’t working our day jobs there will always be something waiting for us. Sometimes, even as the world continues to move, we can give ourselves a few minutes to be. I still struggle with this, but have become more aware of my desire for it, especially in a city that is hustling all the time. Instead of turning on the TV or getting up to meal prep (despite liking this), I’ll try to just sit there and notice where I’m at. Maybe I’ll sip my tea: smell it, taste it, see how my body feels when I have some before looking at my phone to scroll or respond to a text. I also have to remind myself that in some moments I don’t need to let my mind race — I can just allow what I feel to come and be as it is. And I think there’s a peace in that — knowing we don’t always have to be doing things, becoming better, trying to change the way things are. If we never pause, we’ll probably miss some of the moments that we’re meant to absorb — the way the sunlight dances off the trees, the sound of birds singing to one another, the ripe nectarine thats’ juiciness melts our mouth.
I think we can still have all our goals, dreams and routines without trying to do everything in this moment, especially when we need a break to rest and reset. Accepting where we are doesn’t mean we’re settling either, it’s more recognizing that it’s never going to be perfect or exactly how we want it to be all the time. By giving myself the space to be in some moments, I’ve felt a sense of enoughness that feels hard to come by some days.
This idea of being is a theme throughout this entire series and comes back to the title of my blog — ever flowing, ever being — trying to dance through life’s moments with grace while also letting ourselves just be in other ones. Some days we need less doing, more being!
Book Recommendation:
I came across The Comfort Book by Matt Haig in a local European bookstore when I was visiting my sister abroad a few years ago. Since, I have given copies to a few friends because of how calming I’ve found it to be. Short thoughts and essays meant to comfort us all, it has a little something for everyone. Here are two of my favorites — the first one about simply being:
Forward momentum is great. But we also need sideways momentum. For instance, I just sat down and ate a pear. I have no idea what the future holds but I am very grateful that I am alive and able to sit on a sofa and eat a pear.
Do you ever get a kind of gentle sadness that almost feels good? Like a nostalgia for a lost part or stolen future that is mournful but also reminds you that life is capable of such warm things? And that you were there to witness them? (I do.)